8 Listening Activities That Will Make You a Better Leader
“Seek first to fully understand.”
- S. Covey
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”
- Epictetus
Listening is a talent many of us can work on and it is a gift we rarely receive. If communication is about creating a shared understanding, it is a process that starts with curiosity. Being curious, often starts with observing and reflecting and being inquisitive. So, before we get to the inquisitiveness of questions let us focus on observing, reflecting and being inquisitive by listening in many ways. Spend a few days practicing one of these concepts before moving on to the next. Take some time to observe what is different in these discussions. Use these listening activities with friends, family, coworkers, and customers. Practice until it feels natural, and may with practice, become a habit.
Listen for the emotions behind the words. What emotions are you hearing? Is there joy or happiness, fear or disgust? Is there excitement or hopelessness? Listen for the feelings/emotions.
Observe if the emotions and the words are aligned. When they are aligned, what might that mean? When emotions and words are not aligned, what might that mean? What does that bring up in your own thoughts and reflections about what you are hearing?
Listen with interest. Be attentive to the speaker. Try to understand the what, why, how, when of the message. What is the perspective this person is trying to share?
Listen for words you know and see if the speaker is using these words as you would. Or is there an opportunity to make sure the definition is similar?
Listen for words you don’t know. How can you get clarity on what is meant by that?
Listen for speaking styles. Is the person inductive or deductive? Does the person give all details, colors in the picture, shares specifics BEFORE getting to the main point? Or, does the person give high level overview thoughts and then expands on details as needed? Which is more natural for you to process?
Listen for contradictions. Is this accidental or is it a regular observation with this person?
Listen without judgment. This is NOT easy. For some people, it takes a lot more than just some blog activity. So, if this is really hard to do because of some relationship dynamics, try it with people who are not in your world regularly (a person in a check-out line or a person who you just met). Non-judgment DOES NOT mean agreement; it just means you are listening to understand the words, the thoughts, the emotions, and why it is important for this person; without rating it as good or bad, right or wrong, accurate or inaccurate, interesting or dull….
Listen to fully understand, and in my next blog, find ways to clarify and expand on your understanding.