The Power of Validation: Honoring Facts and Feelings
At work and at home, people don’t need us to fix their problems—they need us to witness their reality. Validation is the bridge between understanding and trust. It’s the act of saying, “I see you. I hear you. Your experience matters.”
Leaders who validate both facts and feelings create emotionally safe spaces. They separate truth from interpretation and experience from assumption. This practice doesn’t require agreement—it requires empathy. Here are four coaching lenses to consider:
PQ™ perspective: When your Judge wants to dismiss or rationalize someone’s emotions, pause. Activate your Empathize Sage Power and simply reflect back what you hear.
iPEC energy insight: Operating from Level 4 energy—caring for others—transforms conversations from resistance to rapport.
Brain-Based Coaching: Validation quiets the brain’s threat response in the SCARF domains (Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, Fairness).
Yoga Therapy: Place a hand on your heart during difficult discussions. This subtle gesture signals safety—to yourself and others.
Try this 3-step Validation Technique:
“I hear that this situation is _______ (frustrating or…).” (Feeling)
“I can see why, given what’s happening.” (Fact)
“What would help you feel supported right now?” (Action)
Coaching Reflection:
“Where might validation strengthen connection in my relationships?”
Action Step:
Choose one conversation this week where you practice simple acknowledgment before offering solutions. Watch how the tone softens and understanding grows.
Empathy is not agreement—it’s alignment with humanity.